Who other than Oprah to get you off your ass to start writing in a journal again. Yes, I know this is a blog and my friends can read it. But my friends know that I am pretty honest, blunt and straightforward. I am not asking for advice... I just need a place to let it out. (Travisimo would like like to thank Blogger.com This way he doesn't have to hear it.)
I have always kept a journal and I have loved doing it. Whether it be a "dear diary" moment, something that was funny, something that I felt or something that I had experienced, I wrote it down. It has been awhile since I have done that, but what better time to start "again" than the present.
Today marks the day when I realized that I am obsessed with taking my basal temperature and peeing on ovulation sticks. YUP! If you haven't figured it out yet, we are trying to have a baby. It's a scary thought, but I knew that I would have to face it one day. We haven't been trying very long, but long enough to obsess about about ... daily. Holy shit if this isn't the most mathematical and scientific process ever!
"Is it the right time? Did my temperature spike? Am I even ovulating? What kind of mucus is my vagina spitting out-- clear, creamy, sticky-- how about just gross?" I mean, for crying out loud! We spend our entire college career trying to "not get pregnant" that when it is actually time to get pregnant-- you can't. I feel like I wasted so much money on birth control... when really I should have been saving it for all for the cost of blood work, doctors visits, medicine, pregnancy tests and ovulation kits.
I keep hearing people say...
"Just don't think about it." -- kind of hard to do when every other person is announcing they are pregnant.
(I am very happy for all my friends though- honestly, I really really am!)
"Just have fun with it... it will happen." -- really? REALLY? what is fun about taking your temp and then jumping on your husband like a robot- kinda takes the fun out of it, dontcha think?
"Have sex every other day, you are bound to get pregnant."- tried that... Nothing.
So... Clomid... Here's goes nothing... in the hopes of something.
PS- I am having hard time hitting the "Publish Post" button...
Love your honesty girl. You've already won half the battle just by talking about it. I'm thinking about you throughout your journey. Remember, everyone's is different but we are all in this together as women. Much love to you.
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